Monday, December 16, 2013

Writing woes! Whew!

When I am often asked about the purpose of my life, I usually roll my eyes, oscillate my hip like a little girl, scratch my head and nonchalantly say, “Maybe, just to read and write!” That’s how simple are my ambitions in life. Although I cultivated the habit of reading quite recently (say five years ago), I have always liked writing. I still remember the first essay that I wrote about my family. And I wonder how I could frame sentences when I was not even seven (because I still get stuck quite often). I could constantly practise writing, thanks to my school, where I could participate in many essay competitions. During my school days, little did I realise that I was fond of languages. If I had known then, probably, I wouldn’t have chosen to study Commerce in school and Chartered Accountancy after that because I couldn’t cope with both of it. Then life took a detour and I worked in a BPO for about six years before I managed to get a job in journalism. Fortunately, for the last one year, I have been writing almost every day and I have to be grateful for having got what I didn’t expect. But today, I’m here to whine again for the very reason that I’m not writing enough. Quite contradicting, isn’t it?

Maybe, I should take you back to 2008 when I began blogging. It all started with a couple of short stories, which I have chosen not to read again in my life. But I was proud of the fact that I could write stories and I went around telling people, “Look! Look! I can write!” And that was when a super rude acquaintance chose to quell my spirit with his negative criticism. I stopped writing for a while. Then I tried to hone my skills. And yes, it worked to a decent degree and I thought, perhaps, I was ready to resume scribbling. I started writing again in 2010 and since then, I have been trying to update my blog quite often. After taking up a reporter / sub-editor job at Deccan Chronicle, I couldn’t blog much. But this October, I was addicted to the pleasure of writing flash fiction and I even wrote two stories a day. For a month, the flow was not disrupted at all until a lot of friends wrote kind words to me. A lot many told that they log into Facebook everyday to read my stories. And many told that they thoroughly liked reading my ‘kutti kadhai’. Despite accepting the compliments humbly, I experienced withdrawal symptoms. The frequency of writing two stories a day came down to one and I gradually stopped writing. Now many friends inquire why I have stopped writing. Honestly, negative criticism and excess love in the form of appreciations bog me down. I quit writing when my style was ridiculed. Now I again battle with another phase of dryness because I realise that there are some people, who look forward to reading my pieces. Their expectations pressurise and I succumb to the stress. I end up not writing anything at all because I worry about meeting my readers’ expectations. That mere headache makes me forget my belief that I write for myself and I write to nourish my soul.

I’ve been telling myself that I should clear the cobweb that's formed in my blog soon. However I had to push myself to reappear here. When I feel the impulse to write a piece, I pen it down come what may. But when I’m not inspired enough, writing a small blog also comes across as a herculean task. I am constantly trying to overcome what seems to be one of the biggest challenges. However, one of my favourite writers Ernest Hemingway comes along to help with his inspirational opinions!


  1. There should be no pressure. Don't set a frequency for these things. If there's a thought bubble, capture it. Till then enjoy thinking or pretend to think. Wink.

  2. Thank you so much, Sriks :D :D Means a lot to me!