Monday, March 21, 2011

‘Comfort’ is the mot juste

After a long time, I had a wonderful evening with Arav and Sam in the Besant Nagar Beach. We were engrossed in some deep conversations about family and friends and took a trip down the memory lane.

Thinking about those pleasant memories makes the heart grow heavy and chewing the bitter experiences makes me realise that they have made me stronger. In the journey called Life, we meet umpteen numbers of passengers and a few are destined to travel with us till the very end. Having thought about that, I was intrigued to understand how many left their foot prints in my heart and It’s really shocking to establish that I have got hardly any who chose to love me or I chose to be as a companion.

I get an awkward feeling when I go through my Facebook friends’ list. I am connected to 140 friends via Facebook and it’s hard to believe that a few of those don’t even say ‘Hi’ when I run into them. I find that weird and don’t really understand why the Facebook contacts are named as ‘Friends’. Have I gone off onto a tangent?

Out of 14 years of my school life, I have saved only 2 pals for my rest of my life. I have no regrets for not being able to stay connected to any of those friends who were really close during my schooling. I am glad that I have a couple of friends who have accepted me and persuade me to stay connected to them. The most interesting and disturbing fact is that I have chosen only one colleague of mine as my best friend in my 5 years of work.

Having determined the numbers, I was fascinated to understand my behaviour too. I believe that I am just being friendly to my people and not as a friend. As a kid and a teenager, I was aloof and couldn’t remember having a friend till I was 11 years old. Too many people stepped in and stepped out of life after that and I preferred to stay with a couple of friends who are still my bosoms. I was raised as a home-bird and my family’s influence on my behaviour was enormous. I never went to a college and perhaps, because of which I was not exposed to more number of people. I started to work when I was 19 and it’s in a way a shame on me to confess that I haven’t made a great deal of friends. I don’t hang out, drink, smoke and don’t follow any sports and politics; hence, most of the boys wouldn’t really appreciate my company. Discussions about Handbags, Cosmetics, and Hairdo don’t really captivate me. So, the girls don’t find me interesting. Sometimes, I believe that I live between two different sides of the world and couldn’t really figure out about how to take a side. However, I should admit that I see myself as a peaceful soul who is genuinely happy with the people who are in her life at the moment.

Just like everybody, I am also a victim of treachery. Once upon a time, I was overwhelmed by the obnoxious affection of few chameleons, who helped me to coin my definition of friendship.

I am a firm believer of the quote, “If I had to sum up Friendship in one word, it would be Comfort”. ‘Comfort’ is the mot juste. I was haunted by the fact that I have petty number of friends; however, after contemplating for ages, I don’t regret for not having made a lot of friends and now draw a conclusion that I am thankful to my friends for having accepted me with my flaws. At the end of the day, this clarity in me makes me complete and those bad memories and treacheries have cultivated sagacity in me.


  1. “If I had to sum up Friendship in one word, it would be Comfort”

    I like this line deeps. its very much true... Can feel that every line above has been spoken from the bottom of ur heart... And i always think 'its enough if u have one true friend with whom u always feel independent and COMFORTABLE as well'

    FB - Hahaha! its a dumb thing to entertain people who never smile to their next door neighbor but can chat with an unknown friend for hours...

  2. Thank you for your kind words, Revathy :)

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  4. Deeps - every relationship is a choice, except for Blood relations. And not all our choices are correct or, put politically right, it doesn't turn out to be what we thought it would be. Also, as you rightly said, most of the people we meet, we are only Friendly with them and not really Friends with them. It takes time for us to make the transition from being Friendly to being a Friend. Very few make it quickly and some even after lifetime turns out to be a disaster.

    The number doesn't really matter, but the time we are able to spend with them does. So Enjoy life by spending time with those Friends, who matter the most.

  5. I'm completely buying your comment, Mohan! Time is the panacea.

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