Thursday, November 25, 2010

Blind Date

It was a busy day at work and I was completely engrossed in those endless tasks. My phone cried for my attention by playing the friendship version of ‘Yaaro yaarukkul yaaro’ from 'Chennai-28'. That’s the ringtone that I have set for my favourite cousin, who is also called as my Alter Ego by my loved ones. I took meticulous effort to choose the ringtone and contact picture for him. The ringtones that I have set for my loved ones indicate my feeling for them. Looking at his picture on my phone, I wore a bright smile and answered the call for only to tell him that I would return his call. That’s something that I hate doing. Sometimes, I want to speak with my loved ones when they feel like exchanging few words with me. No anticipated time to return the call was promised, as I know myself very well. ‘Deepika’ is synonymous for ‘Lazy-bum’ and ‘Procrastinator’.

A cup of lemon tea is definitely something that I would like to have amidst a busy day. I grabbed my cup and sank in the chair to return his call. I couldn’t return the call then due to various other reasons; but I texted him promising a call back in 30 minutes. I always like to send him texts in Hindi; but, my proficiency on the language is deplorable. My husband is always pestered to help me with conjunctions and right grammar.

I relished my cup of lemon tea and floated onto the shop floor. I took a deep breath and sprawled on the chair. I picked the name from the contact list and pressed dial. Eventually, I heard his voice and we exchanged few words. I hate to throw those formal questions like ‘How are you?’, ‘How is life’ to my loved ones. I feel awkward to answer such questions. If I wasn’t doing well, my loved ones would sense it by themselves. I prefer to begin the conversation by asking ‘what are you doing?’ to ‘how are you?’ I perceive that the former one aids to increase proximity. I commenced the conversation religiously and we hopped from one topic to another and finally settled on movies. Both of us wanted to do something different and decided to go for ‘Blind date’ in one of the local cinemas.

The name was all that I knew about the show ‘Blind date’ then. I held argument with him about the features of the show. I was under an impression that any movie would be showed. He told that ‘Blind date’ was a prelude to the movies that would get released the next day. To eliminate the variance, we decided to take an expert’s opinion. I hunted for people who knew about ‘Blind date’; but to my surprise nobody carried confident knowledge about it. That’s when I learned that, not a lot of people try different things. Somehow, I managed to get concrete information about the show and he booked the tickets. The confirmation message was also sent to me.

Now, what’s different about this? Why am I writing about this?

My best buddies had attempted many times to tug me out for movies. I had always been reluctant and disinterested. I simply don’t agree to go out with anybody. But, sometimes, I believe that we go out of our way for our loved ones. My loved ones get irritated about the way I contemplate about simple outings. However, for some special people, I become a different person. It’s a biased behaviour. Yes, that’s right! But, few special people in my life earn my affection effortlessly. Arav is one among those special people, who enthrals by his subtle love and interesting companionship.

My friends will not believe if I disclose the fact that I am going for a movie on a working day. Now I am reminded of a remark that my friends left about me once. And that was, “Bear in mind! You are not in Indian Army. You just work for a BPO. Don’t slog. Get a life!”

It’s indeed nice to have a change in attitude. I am all set and looking forward to watching that ‘X’ movie.

P.S. – This post has been dedicated to Arav

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Those we don't speak of

It’s 3 AM now. Her eyes are struggling to get some sleep and body is longing to get refreshed. Her mind is looking forward to starting the day; but, wanting to halt the parade of thoughts. The room is dark and there is absolutely no noise around. He tugs her by his side and slowly starts to whisper to her ears. She lies helpless on the bed and he captivates her by caressing. The density of the darkness seems to thicken the intimacy. They make love again and again and temporarily forget the existence of the mighty World. For that moment, Sex is their God that makes them forget their miseries and shows them only ecstasy.

* * * * * * *

Intellects have elucidated that sex is just a hormonal act that’s behind the mask called ‘Love’. All these days, I refused to believe that humans are in self-delusion and consider ‘Love’ as a divine act. Unlike before, I don’t perceive Love or Sex as eternal anymore; but I have started to believe that as humans, we are bound to such feelings and those feelings have to be nourished to stay human. Just like my ancestors, I am also going with the flow by wilfully deluding myself to exist in this enigmatic world.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

A lot changed and a few remained

Finally, the city takes rest after a busy day. The streets have gained back the usual silence from the deafening crackers.

Deepavali brings back a lot of memories. My parents used to wake up at 3’o clock in the morning to arrange for the pooja. I used to wake up at 5:00 AM and intensify mom’s rage by staying on the bed scratching my head. I am still not an early riser. Dad used to make fun of me on every Deepavali by telling a same lie every year. He said to me on every Deepavali, “Deepu, You have to wake up early on Deepavali and take bath before 5:00 AM. Chennai Corporation releases Ganges water (Ganga theertham) till 5:00 AM on Deepavali only. Take bath in the Ganges water and wash your sins away”. I believed those words and imagined myself taking bath in Ganges every year. The poor kid was unaware then that it was false information.

Mom used to arrange for the pooja and apply little kumkum on the new clothes. I was finicky those days itself and used to hold arguments with her for applying kumkum. I used to fix my eyes on the new clothes in the thambaalam and eagerly wait for the pooja to get over.

The usual agenda for Deepavali was, after the prayers at home, we used to pay visits to few our favourite temples and visited relatives to get blessings and to share sweets. Dad always insisted to return home before 10’o clock to watch ‘Solomon Paapaiya’s Pattimandram’. He then continued to remain in the hall to watch other special shows.

I partially had acousticophobia. I used to be scared of the noise of the crackers. Though I used to be excited about wearing new clothes and celebrating Deepavali, I have never burst crackers. My ears were stuffed with cotton and dad used to be annoyed of my unusual fear. Now, I have overcome that fear. My sister used to love bursting crackers and always pulled me to the roads to see her playing with crackers. I used to ensconce in a corner and avoided looking at people bursting crackers. I used to get ignited about wearing the new clothes to school on the next day of Deepavali. I cherish memories about those days.

This Deepavali was quite mundane. I went to bed at 1:00 AM in the morning on Deepavali and woke up at 8:00 AM. I was overwhelmed by grief as I missed to take shower in the Ganges. Mom finished the prayers even before we woke up. As always, I made sure that the kumkum didn’t leave a mark on my new clothes. My husband and I wore the new clothes and our parents showered us with their blessings. Dad enjoyed watching ‘Solomon Papaiya’s pattimandran’ and the entire family gathered in the hall to watch Koffee with Anu as she had a rendezvous with Kamal Hassan. The hot lunch was served by mom and we all were engrossed in a discussion about a ten-headed cobra. I took a quick nap and got ready for work. Mom complained that I worked during festivals too. I smiled, embraced her and left for work reluctantly.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Fitting birthday gifts

It’s my husband’s birthday today. I haven’t done anything special for him. Shame on me! No gifts were bought to surprise him. No cake and bouquet were ordered. I haven’t picked a greeting card nor have I written a small note for him. Just like any other day, I am ensconced on the bed and busy blogging. He’s happily answering calls and replying to all the texts. That sounds mundane, doesn’t it?

I took him to the Reebok store a couple of weeks ago to get a pair of shoes that he wished to buy for a long time. Fortunately, he was sated as the shoes were available as he expected. On our way back home that day, we picked a branded shirt and thus accomplished his birthday shopping. We have decided to do nothing interesting for his birthday. It’s going to be just another day in the calendar.

I always wonder about how things change as the time flies by. The excitement and enthusiasm that I had before wedding have tarnished. Our outlook has changed, but things carry profound meaning these days. I used to choose gifts meticulously for his birthday before wedding and spent hours to conceive a plan to give him an unconventional surprise. Those days have gone. All I did in the last few years were, hugged him, kissed him on his forehead and whispered ‘Happy Birthday and May God bless us’ to his ears. I haven’t broken the protocol this year too.

Hugs and kisses convey the message that words and presents fail to do.